As we transition from summer to fall, I’m daydreaming about autumn leaves, oversized hoodies, fuzzy leggings, and Bath & Body Works candles that look good enough to eat. But something I’m not looking forward to? The constant barrage of pumpkin spice-themed products. I’m not a pumpkin spice fan whatsoever (or coffee in general), so the wacky releases with each holiday season do not appeal to me, and I personally despise them. I know, I know, this may be a divisive take, but it’s a hill I’m willing to die on. Pumpkin spice is out of control. Do I even need to bring up last year’s Pumpkin Spice Cup Noodles? Yeah, this is getting ridiculous. We do not need this many new products that end up sitting in people’s fridges and cupboards until they go bad–especially when Halloween and Thanksgiving are still weeks and weeks away. Be prepared, as I’m sure there are plenty more releases on the horizon as we inch closer to the holidays.
So without further ado, here are ten pumpkin spice-themed foods, beverages, and other items for 2022 that may or may not be…questionable. You be the judge!
Jump To The Products:
- Goldfish Dunkin’ Pumpkin Spice Grahams
- Greenies Pumpkin Spice Flavor Dental Dog Treats
- Oreo Pumpkin Spice Cookies
- Native Pumpkin Spice Latte Deodorant
- Philadelphia Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese
- Bath & Body Works Marshmallow Pumpkin Latte Lip Balm
- Jamba Juice Pumpkin Smash Smoothie
- Pumpkin Spice Cheerios
- Siggi’s Pumpkin & Spice Skyr Yogurt
- Pumpkin Spice Twinkies
To kick things off, we have the Goldfish Dunkin’ Pumpkin Spice Grahams. They have “notes of pumpkin, donut glaze, and warm spices,” according to the press release. Sigh. Can we leave these iconic snacks alone? Please? This one isn’t too bad and is probably kind of tasty–but it’s not something I’ll be spending my money on.
Come on now. Pumpkin spice-flavored treats for your DOG. Who is buying these things? What pet wants something that tastes like consumerism and fake fall? I don’t have a dog, but it’d be a hard no if something like this were offered for my cat.
I’m not surprised at the Oreo Pumpkin Spice Cookies. The brand is known for making treats stuffed with all kinds of weird icing flavors. I’m partial to the good ol’ Double Stuf ones with normal frosting available all year round…stick to the classics.
I didn’t think I’d ever type these words out, but here they are: pumpkin spice deodorant. Native, stop it. Some things need to be left out of this autumn craze, and antiperspirants are one of them. Imagine you’re at the gym, and someone is getting up from the machine you’re looking to use next. The person passes by, and you get a whiff of BO mixed with pumpkin spice…bizarre.
Philadelphia Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese sounds absolutely disgusting. Am I in the minority here since I don’t like cream cheese? Probably. Why do we need to add pumpkin spice to every single item in September, October, and November? Next.
I will buy Bath & Body Works candles until the day I die; I need to say that upfront…but a pumpkin spice-flavored lip balm? What’s the point of that? It makes no sense. If you want your lips to smell like a fall scent, then drink a PSL latte from Starbucks. Problem solved.
Jamba Juice…what? When I order a smoothie, I’m looking for something light and refreshing like strawberry or mango, especially if I’ve had a busy day running errands or just finished a workout. A Pumpkin Smash Smoothie sounds like it would sit in your stomach like a rock. 0/10.
Meh. This is weird. I’m fine with other types of Cheerios (Very Berry is my fave, and of course, Honey Nut is a contender) but not this. Some online reviews I’ve seen from people say their kids enjoy it, so it would make an easy snack for parents looking to give little ones something sweet that’s not too unhealthy.
Skyr is a type of Icelandic cultured dairy product that originated in Scandinavia and is much thicker and creamier than yogurt. The Siggi’s Pumpkin & Spice Skyr includes ingredients like skim milk, cane sugar, pumpkin puree, nutmeg, and cinnamon, and I’m actually not mad about this one. Yogurt has always been one of my go-to snacks, and this sounds kind of delicious.
Returning for another year are the Pumpkin Spice Twinkies. Hostess is always up to some kind of tomfoolery with these desserts, and it’s cringe. While browsing the website, I also learned that Mixed Berry and Cotton Candy Twinkies are available. Nope.